In every molue plying the streets of Lagos, there are two types of passengers seated. The happy passengers and the disgruntled passengers. It is very easy to spot the above categories.
The former are the ones with travel kits in their hands.
The later………well, that is not why we are here.
I am writing on the unrivalled nature of our world renowned travel kits that has been saving lives since 1962.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Gala and La’casera.
Don’t be ungrateful !!!
By the time you are done reading this, you gonna treat the next gala in your palm like gold! This article will be concentrated on gala. We will talk about its spouse some other time.
At this point, I am going to be taking some quotes from VERY FAMOUS PEOPLE!
Gala is likened to a female vagina, soft, pink, inviting and yummy.
Bruce and I split up when I found out he had been secretly eating the gala Kim bought from me from Nigeria.
Man shall not live by bread alone
GALA SAVING LIVES SINCE 1962
1. Gala Communicates
You are a shy guy seated next to a pretty girl in a bus. You want to start a conversation so badly but you don’t know how to go about it. As soon as you see a gala/casera hawker walk by, just get a pair for her. Don’t bother asking if she wants it. In few seconds her number will be on your phone.
Waiting for testimonies…
2. Gala Is Affordable
With ten notes of N5, you can have one full gala to yourself. Have I listed the bundles of nutrients you just purchased? Proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins, fat&oil etc. A gala per day keeps you a balanced human being.
3. Gala&La Casera As A Relaxant
Imagine boarding a bus from Berger to Mile2, you don’t need a native doctor to tell you there’s going to be at least five stopovers, traffic that will take much of your time and a couple of agberos causing nuisances.
When all these goes on, what do smart people do? They just gulp some Lacasera. This great drink releases some form of muscle relaxants that seems to tell your body ‘calm down, hold on, we are going home’
4. Gala Is Beautiful
Gala has the softest of skins and the smoothest of complexions. Achieved without filters if I may add. The pink beef within it is bright and appealing to the eyes. In summary, even if you are not a fan of the taste, just buy a gala, take off the pack and be looking at that beauty.
5. Gala Considers The Proletariat
Gala understands a large percentage of Nigerians live beneath a dollar per day. N50 may be your budget for lunch that’s why the N30 gala was released so the proletariat and burgoleios can munch away their sorrows.
6. Alternative To A Dildo
Now this is very interesting. I had a discussion days ago with some friends and one of them told me she uses an expired gala to wank O_O.
According to her, all she does is keep it past the expiry date till it gets really hard (no puns intended). She then proceeds to freeze it (for insurance purposes, maybe) and the rest is history.
And finally brethren, if you are still under rating the power of gala, I leave you with this…